Being 24...

Being a 24 something guy…A rueful phase it is…

For all my life I wished if I could stay a kid or a boy at least but god never answered my prayers, but today I wish I could take a leap into the future, being a man is all I want, this transition is killing me…I wish I could be 27 or 28…

Yesterday I had no questions, tomorrow I might have few answers but today my life is no more than a questionnaire…
Few one liners few yes or no, few one mark questions few major blows…
To start with it, the first question I have is “will I be able to achieve what I wish from life or a bit of it at least?”

I have no answer to this question but to deepen the crisis within me I have yet another question from my parents “do you even know what you want from your life?”

Yes, till yesterday I did!!!

They tell me you have been living for yourself all this time, now be responsible and give us some time…

“Was I living for myself?”
I am sorry I just realized!!!

Everyone tells me you are getting matured, “don’t you sense the change?”

Of course I do, I am losing my hair and sense of self, got some flab and disrespect, “is it so normal coz I am getting matured?”

My ex are getting married and my present wants to, she has had her independent and adventurous life and being stable is what she plan, yes she wants to get stable with me when stability and  I are already a zillion light years apart, but again a question is all I get, “am I ready for marriage or am I ready for THE marriage?”

Whatever I do!!!
Every uncle I meet asks “what are your future plans?” while every aunt would ask “planning to get married any soon?”

Yes, your daughter, along with your wealth, but “Umm!!! I am not sure…” is all I could say…

Congratulations, I have a new job which I already hate, but “I do earn now am I independent?”, and than my dad said ‘you don’t earn enough, not even to pay for you food’

Free lunches are not so free…!!!

Life is so dead with relations no more then a mocking drill, I feel so passive even to think…

With all my friends stuck in the same riddle, no hope to help not even share…

People please don’t relate this to anyone, I am not me I am not you, I am just a 24 year old who doesn’t know what to do…

                                                                                   

Courtesy:  http://somethingtheycalllife.blogspot.com/

Jamia 3G

November’2006, first major assessment of engineering, Engineering Mathematics…

It was 25 marks affair, 12 marks for 2 minors 6 marks for each and rest 13 for the class notes, yeah its kinda strange but even in B.Tech we were made to maintain class notes and were graded upon the quality and quantity of those notes…

As decided notes were to be graded as per 3 categories:

Alpha- Good ones- 10 outa 13

Beta- Average ones- 07 outa 13

Gamma- Good ones- 05 outa 13

Scene I:

For assessment a room was decided, every student has to go in there and get his notes examined and his examination answer sheets were to be evaluated there. The best part was that assessment was on first come first killed basis, so it gave me some more time to increase the size of notes, as expected all the good students got 8 or 9 marks for minors and an Alpha, average ones got 5-6 marks along with Beta, and as I noticed now the grade given was Gamma, I knew finally it was the turn of glorious back benchers, and as it proceeded there were many 2s 3s and 4s along with Gamma…

Then came Tabish’s turn, he got 1.5 for minors, and for the grade I dint even bother to ask what it was for I knew it would be nothing more than Gamma, now came Sunil I thought it would be an achievement for him if he could equal Tabish, and as expected he got only 1 outa 12 for minors now I was laughing and I thought man its actually bad for him, he got the lowest marks and a Gamma, bad it was…

After few more mins I went in, I was kinda sure that I would get a Gamma, but I knew I would somehow manage to get 3-4 marks, but the joy was short lived,all I got was 0.5 for minors…

Scene II:

Same evening we were all sitting in the sports ground, I was totally desolated, when Tabish came to me and,

Tabish : Yaar mujhe to Delta de diya. (I got Delta)

Me: Abe mujhe bhi.(Me too)

Sunil:Abe saale ne mujhe bhi Delta de diya re. (even I got Delta)

As they give capital punishment for rarest of rare crime, we three got Delta for being poorest of poor…

I don’t how it felt to be a topper as I never got highest marks ever, but now I knew what it felt like getting lowest of all, it was terrible…

But one thing I learnt in engineering that every thing was in abundance, there came so many terrible moments thereafter that it no more felt bad, it was just as usual as any other day…Proud being an engineer, electriCOOL engineer… J J

My BEAUTY...

Sitting by the window of his lonely room, Astitva with her photograph in his hands thought is it worth?
Its been 2 years since I am away from my home, my friends and myself, busy preparing for this god damn exam which still seems so far…
Wasting 2 years of my life to clear administrative services, and still gonna try for it 3^rd time, just because she wants me to do so…

I know she loves me and even I love her but what about the love I have for my  life, I could have done so much for my life in these 2 years. Why god why, why I was chosen to be with her!!!
And a voice which he knew was his own said just because you are the best and you deserved someone much better then the best...
And like every other person on this earth even Astitva knew that his mother was best and she made him more than he deserved to be…
Looking at the picture his moist eyes said it all, his mother a housewife, much more educated than anyone else in his family quit her job just to make sure that she made Astitva what her son deserved to be. Today she wants to live her dreams in him, but isn’t it beautiful that in all her dreams its only he…

Astitva thought of her arms which swallowed all his troubles, of her deafening silence of disapproval, of how she knew that he need her, of how she knew that he wanted to be alone and left in silence, and he thought how she never judged him by marks on my report card when everyone else did…
Now he thought is time for her to get what she deserves, for being a wife, a sister, a daughter and most of all a housewife mother who gave all her life in making her  son what once she wanted to be, expectations he thought would kill him anytime, but than what about the sacrifice she made, she died every night just to make him live every day…

Wiping his tears Astitva went to bed and said today I have this relation and its most beautiful because of her beauty, she is my mum my beauty…

I am aDdicTed to you..!!

I hate to love you but yeah I am addicted to you, not a day without you I could think of…
They tell me you are injurious to me you are a cheat, but I suck you and you suck me it’s just a game…
A game I have to play till one us die, in the end you might take the win but what I take will be a part of you…
They tell me they hate smokers, even I do, coz smoking is all I love to do…
Yes, I hate smokers but I love to smoke…
I wonder the perseverance those fumes have to rise, no matter how hard you try but they rise until they die…
Do I really need to justify something I like??
No, in the end it will be I who will die…
Numbers do matter they tell me every time, but what to count it’s just another game every night…
They hate you and hate every time I kiss you but it’s just a war I have to fight…
Either I burn you or I burn myself inside, for now I chose you to sacrifice…
Coughs and puffs are part of our love, I remember our first date when I was too scared, to kiss you was not something I wished for, I knew you had something I was never meant for…
At times I feel what if I had never kissed you, I for sure would have made many happier but today I need you, you have made me so weak to quit, better I will quit to live…
I feel so slave who strive to dignity but I had lost a lot to you…
Goodbye my lover I have to say, coz in the end I lost the GAME…

"CORRECTIVE RAPE"-kill us before we die...

Corrective Rape…
Corrective and rape, when I read this for the first time I thought it is just another stupid oxymoron, but no it isn’t, to my shock and dismay this term goes with its literal meaning…
‘Corrective rape' is based on the outrageous and utterly false notion that a lesbian woman can be raped to 'make her straight', isn’t it devastating…
Corrective rape is a criminal practice, whereby men rape lesbian women, purportedly as a means of "curing" the woman of her sexual orientation.(Source:wikipedia)
There can never be a cause or justification to it, and motive is irrelevant in heinous crimes like 'corrective rape.'
This is just another extreme chapter of the male psychology where being dominant is the only thing they feel makes them superior.
Once a victim told police that throughout the assault, her attacker repeatedly said, "You think you're a man, but I'm going to show you you're a woman." The victim was tied up, beaten, strangled, tortured and raped for five hours by a man as he screamed that he would "cure" Millicent of her lesbianism.

Why can’t we just live the way we are and want, why would some else bother to make us what he feels is right, why would some else has the right to kill us before we die…
“STOP RAPE”

Animated India

Animated India…world’s largest democraZy…

People living, or trying to live in India have an entirely different India living in them…
That’s what I call my own Animated India…
India, where I have freedom to be free…
India, where living will not be a privilege few would enjoy…
India, when being happy will no longer be a favor not so favorable…
India, an exalting eulogy of Indians…
I see a developed India of developed Indians…
I in my India have a place, respect which every individual Indian deserves…
Lets just animate our India with most beautiful and innocent colors…

the HOLY makeover :)

hello bloggers...
I am new to this place, I felt this place was perfectly imperfect for me, so I changed it a bit...
Now this was what it used to be...

I felt i could do justice to this space so I modified it a bit...
I hope this makeover comes for good... :)

Just LOVE… Is it…!!!

I know I am not the one you deserved, I know I am not the one who deserves you…

I know love is not something I am capable of, I know you feel that I don’t want you, I am not sure if you are true…

I know I am passive and not true to you, you could hate me for this but I know you won’t do…

I know you are the only one to fit my arms still I don’t hug you, but that’s the only way I know how to love you…

I know you get puzzled if ever I cry, but I am not there whenever you try…

I know I never told you all I should had, but trust me you are the only friend I have…

I love not just coz I can be me when I am with you, but for the reason what you have made me…

I am scared whenever you are in pain, I know I am the reason…

But I feel as strongly as you do…

Your touch is all I need to heal, the moment you are with me my life is full…

I might not have any reason to love you, but you are the only reason I love you…

You feel I do just fine even without you, I do not need you to breathe but you are the one who told me even I could live…

You are the only to understand that I’m not perfect and that’s perfectly fine…               

But above all this what I need is only you…

You are the happiness of my soul…

TK, PG & NA- Beyond Obvious….

Dynamically Destined Dogs….

Chronic back benchers, 3 technically dead guys stuck in a damn technical world…

Making a new f**ked up attempt to f**k our f**ked up life every day…

Just to start we, I know are the only living beings (I missed human, well that’s intentional) in this not so living place...

People around us are live, dead life what a fancy it is…

We have a lot in common but most specific thing is that we wanted to do some thing, we were made to do some thing else, now we are again doing some thing totally different, and again we plan to do some thing totally opposite…

We three are working in an Indian IT giant as software engineers…Before that we were electrical engineers…And much before that we never wanted to be engineers…

We are dynamically stagnant and so much in love with our lives that we hate any unnecessary changes made to it...
We are so used to live lavishly in scarcity that we don’t even wish for things, coz we are actually scared that god might be generous enough to grant few of  those wishes…

TK - Tabish Khan, or The Khan one of my best buddies, we have been together in a lot of things few good, and most of them not so good, this guy I must tell you is in love with cinema, he always want to live his life in black n white. I like him for the things which an average HUMAN being would hate in him, for instance he believes in GOD coz GOD gave him the liberty to choose over good or bad rather than imposing it. He is the one who taught me that only person you need to make yourself happy is ‘YOU’. For him love is just a beautiful rose which eventually dies, but could be sacredly preserved even after it is dead. One thing I would like to tell him is that “the people who do not value human emotions and feelings are the worst men of whole human kind”, and you are one them. (OK! Now stop laughing I know even I am one of those) 

Next comes PG, Piyush Gupta the Professional Gadha yeah that’s exactly what we are…dumb professional ass…its almost 3 months since I know him...
 Its very rare that you will find this guy smiling, coz most of the times he is laughing, and I must tell you that he is extremely contagious, you can not be you when you are with him, you are so much involved into his smoky world which is insanely alcoholic...

NA, Namit Aggarwal that’s obviously me. I am just another normal and very ordinary guy totally involved in my excitingly boring life. ‘MY’ life I am in love with this MY word, I love to live in MY world and that’s all you need to know about ME.

Apart from 3 of us I still want to write about a loads of people, and I will do I it soon, so al you guys there soon you will get a personalized dedicated space some where around on this blog.

P.S. – Use of excessively less oxymoron was accidentally intentional as this one of few things I have learnt lately.

MY ILP DAYS….

17:00 hrs, Nov 6^th, 2010 Kochi Airport, a beautiful evening it was, mesmeric view of coconut trees, coconut trees and only coconut trees…

04:00 hrs, Nov 7^th, 2010 Trivandrum, first thing I noticed was a signboard saying Kanyakumari-80 Km, just 80 km away from the lower most part of India, now I actually realized that I am almost 3500 km away from the place called Delhi…

08:30 hrs, Nov 8^th, 2010 Technopark, Trivandrum, my work place, next two days were meant for verification of documents and making us acquainted with few company policies and hell loads of rules, CODE OF CONDUCT this what they call it professionally…

05:00 hrs, Nov 11^th, 2010 B.G.PLAZA, Trivandrum, my so called hotel, now for the next two months I’ll have to leave for office by 6 am and start working from 7 am…

Now this was how I started with Kerala Disasters...

KERALA DISASTERS

Kerala is a state in southern India with a totally different life and people…Yes it is a nice place which I must say is tastefully f**ked up…

Spoons, forks, deodorants and slippers, people here generally avoid using these not so useful articles and their love for coconut oil is laudable…at times you might get confused that is it just the same coconut oil they applied in the morning dripping all over their face or the next oil well discovered would be in their head…(now this was probably an over exaggerated stuff by my frustrated mind but I have seen women there applying oil in huge quantities and most of all they don’t wash it before going out.)

Weather is another very important factor which makes this place totally uninhabitable, its just so hot, humid and stinking…the worst part is its same every day, hour and minute…

It took me not more than few hours to realize that I can never adjust in this damn place but I still had some Kerala Delights which came my way, friends I made there…

Now I actually know what they meant when they said “Don’t look for excellent people, look for excellent relations”…n finally…

15:00 hrs, Jan 20, 2011 Delhi Airport, I am smiling, I am happy, and I am half-gladdened that I left that place after all it was not that bad, at least people there were good…

P.S. I – Please please don’t take it as an offence, not even a word of it, it was just some fun.

P.S II – Comments will be approved only if they follow Code of Conduct.