Sitting by the window of his lonely room, Astitva with her photograph in his hands thought is it worth?
Its been 2 years since I am away from my home, my friends and myself, busy preparing for this god damn exam which still seems so far…
Wasting 2 years of my life to clear administrative services, and still gonna try for it 3rd time, just because she wants me to do so…
Its been 2 years since I am away from my home, my friends and myself, busy preparing for this god damn exam which still seems so far…
Wasting 2 years of my life to clear administrative services, and still gonna try for it 3rd time, just because she wants me to do so…
I know she loves me and even I love her but what about the love I have for my life, I could have done so much for my life in these 2 years. Why god why, why I was chosen to be with her!!!
And a voice which he knew was his own said just because you are the best and you deserved someone much better then the best...
And like every other person on this earth even Astitva knew that his mother was best and she made him more than he deserved to be…
Looking at the picture his moist eyes said it all, his mother a housewife, much more educated than anyone else in his family quit her job just to make sure that she made Astitva what her son deserved to be. Today she wants to live her dreams in him, but isn’t it beautiful that in all her dreams its only he…
And a voice which he knew was his own said just because you are the best and you deserved someone much better then the best...
And like every other person on this earth even Astitva knew that his mother was best and she made him more than he deserved to be…
Looking at the picture his moist eyes said it all, his mother a housewife, much more educated than anyone else in his family quit her job just to make sure that she made Astitva what her son deserved to be. Today she wants to live her dreams in him, but isn’t it beautiful that in all her dreams its only he…
Astitva thought of her arms which swallowed all his troubles, of her deafening silence of disapproval, of how she knew that he need her, of how she knew that he wanted to be alone and left in silence, and he thought how she never judged him by marks on my report card when everyone else did…
Now he thought is time for her to get what she deserves, for being a wife, a sister, a daughter and most of all a housewife mother who gave all her life in making her son what once she wanted to be, expectations he thought would kill him anytime, but than what about the sacrifice she made, she died every night just to make him live every day…
Now he thought is time for her to get what she deserves, for being a wife, a sister, a daughter and most of all a housewife mother who gave all her life in making her son what once she wanted to be, expectations he thought would kill him anytime, but than what about the sacrifice she made, she died every night just to make him live every day…
Wiping his tears Astitva went to bed and said today I have this relation and its most beautiful because of her beauty, she is my mum my beauty…
Hey fellow IAS aspirant... don't lose hope... m sure u will make it! And you write beautifully... it is extremely touching and made me emotional too... A child and his/her mother's relationship is God's most beautiful gift... I admire you for cherishing such a beautiful relationship... Thanks for this post... feeling of catharsis...u made me cry n feel Astitva's love and pain! And that is not an easy thing to do :)
ReplyDelete@Anukriti: Thank you for the comment, and i feel its just not about me or you, this relationship is generic and same with everyone, just beautiful it is, come on you dont have to cry... :) :)
ReplyDeleteWe all go through such emotions but the point is to learn and keep going! All the best:)
ReplyDelete