Thursday, September 30, 2010

FANTASY FONE, Phantasy Phone...

I was a kid might be 10 or 12 years old when I had my first encounter with this beautiful and so powerfully amazing gadget, probably most revolutionizing invention after electric bulb and air plane…
A MOBILE PHONE
My dad’s NRI friend from Russia had one Siemens mobile phone, I was so astonished to see that James Bond movie like gadget that I dint even touch it for the first few hours, (I was kinda scared that if I press some wrong key it might blow off) and to add to my strange excitement was that vibration thing, I could remember how dashed I was when suddenly that small blue colored thing lit up and started resonating on its own…
After few hours when my uncle made me familiarized with his mobile phone, I was in love with this gadget…
And that night while in bed I thought having something like this was still a fantasy to me…
Today when I look around world is changed, things and needs are changed but I still have a fantasy, fantasy to have my mobile phone, the phone which I can call FANTASY FONE…!!!


As most of Indians are, even I am more inclined towards English, and as a kid I always used to wonder what enables foreigners and foreign returns to be able to converse so fluently in English, so thought might they just put a microchip kind of thing in you whenever you go there, so even today I want my FANTASY FONE should enable me to converse in any language I want, like it should have built in translators.
I hate liars, so my FANTASY FONE would have a built in lie detector mechanism.
My FANTASY FONE would be moldable to any design any time I please.
FANTASY FONE must have sixth sense humane touch, it should be able to talk to me tell me how I look, which attire suits me most and I should be able to switch it to different modes, as if friend mode so it can talk to you as a friend, mentor mode to get advice from FANTASY FONE as your mentor would, and even girlfriend mode where you can get anything your girlfriend will give you and to get rid of girlfriend monopoly that enshroud your world…(and like INTEL INSIDE, FANTASY FONE would be GALFRIEND INSIDE)
Like SMS and MMS it should have PMS and FMS and HMS services too, in INDIA we have frequent power cuts so FANTASY FONE should be capable of sending and receiving wireless electric power, like we send SMS we can use Power Mailing Service, PMS to send or receive KWHs, and it would also have Food Mailing Service, FMS
ME: Hello! McDonalds, can you please send me a mc veggie burger.
McDonalds: Thank you sir, your order will be delivered in 10 seconds kindly place your PHANTASY PHONE in food tray…
And my FANTASY FONE would get me instantly transported anywhere I want to, Human Mailing Service, HMS
FANTASY FONE must be a multitasking fold and fit device, like when ever you just want to watch a movie, a click and it would get converted into a small 3D screen, or whenever you want to get printouts, just a click and it turns into a mini printer.
And my FANTASY FONE should be free, so it needs no anti theft mechanism.
And yeah FANTASY FONE would also enable me to call someone in case I still need something apart from my FANTASY FONE (PHANTASY PHONE) …


And the revolution begins with the new  Tata DOCOMO OneTouch Net Phone (http://onetouchnet.tatadocomo.com/) it wont be far when you get all of the above features included...

Thursday, September 23, 2010

MAGIC MOMENTS...

I have been thinking of writing this post for long, and finally I am done with a part of it…
Its about US, me, my friends and my college…
To start we did our graduation from JMI, a university in Delhi
 And as all the engineers we have some very technical moments to cherish, and few of these are those MAGIC MOMENTS
Magic Moments, now this was the VODKA brand which gave us our first PEHLA NASHA PEHLA KHUMAR moment…
Before going any further lemme just introduce you to US…
We the future super dudes of future super power…
So starting with few of my best buddies, here I go…

Mr. PLAYBOY- He is one of my best friend (though we don’t talk much, ohh I forgot, you need to be a girl to talk to him), very good at heart, he is the only one having the powers to taste and distinguish the brands (you know what brands I mean), and no he is not at all PERVERT, actually this dude is the struggling playboy around, looking for some work, and unfortunately he never get one, so any of you girl willing to hire him, trust me he is a BORN DESPERATE

Mr. HYPNOTISER- This dude is calmest, meanest and laziest, NO NO, don’t stare, you can be hypnotized (warning in case you are not a male), DVD alias double vaishi darinda, this is tag for this dread stalker, and the only problem with him is “INHE CHHADTI NAHI HAI”…

Mr. MUSCLES- The big boss, this guy with the blaze sharp memory is virtually my bestest friend, known for his connections with professors, for his dance moves, and his English, which he speaks only under the influence of certain spirits (no I am not talking about Shakespeare’s spirit, ABSOLUTE spirits, the brands I meant), but “KUCH BHI KAHO LADKA PEHNTA BRANDED CHEJE HI HAI”

The JAAT- Well the sweetest boy, drinks only if you pay, greatest dancer, and the most technical guy, the only problem of his life is that no1 ever understood him, so the first thing he said when he was born was “SAMJHA KAR NA YAR”, and it continues…

DARK SINNER- That’s me, well I wont praise much, but the only problem with me is the great shape my body is in, the cuts and curves, 2 days to gym and few shots of vodka is all I need to have those abs, six to sixteen pack what ever you want…

cUCKINGfRAZY- The smart dude, lost most of the times, not at all friendly (that’s what his best friends feel), drinks any time, any where, any thing, this guy known for his after effects he is haunted by his POOR CAT score ( 97.8 percentile it was), and the biggest grudge of his life is form, MBA FORM he dint fill…


Well now let me introduce you to few of our designated drivers, these good guys wont ever drink, its about there ethics I guess…(good for us, we always need some one who can get us back home)

The BALD GUY
- Lamest guy, tried to get included into the ones mentioned above but then chose to being on driving seat was better, known for his beautiful ever lasting hair he is the most concerned and worried person (about what!!! Ohh he don’t need any reasons, just tell him your name that might be all you need to disappoint him)…

COLORS- No I am not talking about the COLORS channel, the MBA GURU, this guy I must tell you is the smartest of us, the only one amongst us to lose it, never dates same girl twice, the most eligible single bachelor for you girls (c’mon you don’t mind a bit of colorful cheerful I am the best attitude)…


PS I: Please do not get hurt, we love teasing and fighting but we love each other, we have been together for 4 years and we will be the same way always.
PS II: Feel free to write, few comments might not be moderated.
PS III: This is just a part of this post, I have few more friends to introduce, so don’t get disappointed if your name is not in the list.
PS IV: No names changed.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

A Date To Remember..!!!

Ohh!! Such devastation it was, most ravaging date, a date to remember…
NO NO NO, not about me, I never had such a cheesy date, its about my best buddy GAURAV
Gurav, the JAAT boy (JAAT- Just Avoid All of Them, and I mean ALL of Them)…
This guy I must tell you have all his hormones wildly disordered to a state beyond any Homo sapiens imagination…
Known for the extreme ways of his life this timid creature is COURAGE (COURAGE-the cowardly)…

…Guts and Nuts, only JATS…

 He is the most educated engineer amongst us (most considerate and dedicated student)…
He is a damn photo maniac, he loves to get clicked so much that there is a childhood story consorted to his frenzy for photographs (particularly the one in which he poses), its about a time when he was on stage reciting some poem ( I actually wonder he had ever been on stage), and then came a photographer to click him, and baffled, Gaurav paused, posed and enounced- bhai photo mast si liyo


…mast SI photo…

We were in 5th semester of our engineering, when our mighty dude, Gaurav got acquainted with this girl, a friend’s, friend’s sister, reminiscing her name would be bit unmanageable for me now, so I would be calling her Ms. FAIREST and LOVELIEST…
This small girl was in 12
th standard that time, and as we know love knows no age, no caste, no color… (I insist NO COLOR)
That night Gaurav talked with her for hours, till all the balance of all the phones available was consumed…and this continued for next 3 days (not the balance thing, but being on phone whole night), so now it was time for us (me and aditya) to scrutinize what  actually was going on…
Love U’s have been exchanged,
kids have already been named, and relation stands strong… (3 day old telephonic relation, standing as strong as it has been for decades)
They used to talk about there home, parents, studies, physics, and HMT (Heat and mass transfer)…
Well HMT is an all guys euphemist for that very physically intimate moment, which includes the transfer of heat and mass between two bodies pertaining to there excessive closeness (sex, if you need one word answer to it)...not bad I though, talking about HMT in just a 3 day old relation, but such a pity to my bewilderedly wild expectations from this lame boy, Gaurav, HMT is a subject in 5th semester of mechanical engineering, pertaining towards the study of fluids, pressure and temperature, and this was all they used to talk about…huhhh!!!
Now, the date was decided, the place was decided, and the time was finalized, Gaurav was to meet his Ms. FAIREST and LOVELIEST… (it was to be a blind date)
EDM ( East Delhi Mall), was the place, it took him almost 2 hours that morning to get himself ready for the date, shoes washed, jeans washed, shirt tugged in, hair well combed, wallet fully loaded, smile widest then ever, and at around 09:00 Am, the lame dude left…
I was in college around 03:00 PM, beep beep SMS…

namit
Yar yaha paas me koi ATM hai kya??

I replied,

Ha
pacific me hai, waha chala ja…

(Pacific is another mall adjoining EDM)
I know this was insane, but I could not stop laughing…(SHIT!! I was having fun at his expense, yeah thanx for reminding me that’s what I am doing right now)
He came back in the evening, now it was the time for remand room trial, we were all set to welcome him in the torture room, ( I forgot to tell, ME, Aditya, and Gaurav, we were roomies), and now it was the time for Qs and As…

Q1: kaisi rahi teri date?
A1: Mast thi… (This guy I must tell you is in love with this wrd MAST)

Q2: Kya kiya?
A2: Movie dekhi and lunch kara.
Q3: Kaunsi movie?
A3: Wo Pappu cant dance salla wali…
Q3.1: Acha wo jaane tu ya jaane na…
A3.1: Ha, wahi…

Q4: Kaisi lagi??
A4: Thhek thi, so so…
Q4.1: bas SO SO!!!
A4.1: Songs ache nahi hai…
A4.1.2: Ch****…
(Such a disgraceful answer to such an honorary question it was.)

Q5: Abe movie nahi ladki kaisi lagi??
A5: Mast thi yar, itni achi thi, so beautiful…
Q5.1: And?
A.5.1: Ek to gora hota hai, aur ek usse bhi zyada gora, wo thi… (NO COLOR, as I told you, I am sure he is gonna kill me for this one)

Q6: Kya kya kiya?? (We expected some stuff worth censoring)
A6: Sath baithe, we roamed around with hand in hand, and while saying bye I kissed her…
Q6.1: Kiss!!! Kaha??
A6.1 Auto me…
Q6.2: Abe usko kaha kiya??
A6.2: Uske hath par…
Q6.3: Aur?
A6.3: Bas…
A6.3.1: Bas!! What the F**K…
(Trust me this was all he did, I wish I could have got at least something to censor)






After a few weeks, things changed between them, I wont get into details but they were no more together (almost), and it was certainly a hard time for Gaurav, one early morning I found him sobbing, I asked, kya hua yar, ( I expected an answer that he was missing his Ms. FAIREST and LOVELIEST, but NO he wasn’t, I would have managed even if he would had said he was missing his mum, but NO, he said I am missing Sakshi!!!)
Now who the hell this Sakshi was???( She was his childhood crush, and he was missing her on the very day of the breakup with his girlfriend, I felt like killing him, or me for the very reason why I asked kya hua!!!)

This was settled in a few days, but it dint die, one day gaurav got a mail which had few pics of Ms. FAIREST and LOVELIEST, and Aditya by chance got to see it, after that life wasn’t fair to Gaurav, the girl was not at all the way Gaurav had described, and all of his life had always been public so was this, now he was made fun of, every corner he went to, any guy he met, that color remark of his became so popular that I bet, he must have wished that he was a COLORBLIND
 With time it all ended, now things are all under control, but that blind date still haunts him at times, and even if it was to die, we won’t let it die…cheers…

PS I: I seriously did not want to hurt any feelings or emotions, and I wrote this one because I know my buddy Gaurav will take it all sportingly and wont mind it much…(and its least likely that he would ever read this blog of mine)

PS II: For that girl I am sorry that it dint work out, and that’s it!!

PSIII: Do comment on it, but please don’t provide any extra details which I missed in the post, coz that was deliberately done…

PSIV: My next post “ A DATE TO REMEMBER 2”, would be on a date at EUPHORIA( Indian Habitat Centre), dedicated to yet another very special friend of mine…(any guesses)

PS V: Gaurav is still the most eligible bachelor around, so any of willing girl may volunteer… (caste, age, COLOR no bar)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

RETURN TICKET II...

My life is what seems an extra ordinary stroke of ROMANTIC DISSAPOINTMENT…

Before reading this post you might like to consider reading how it all started,

My first hand experience to LOVE, RETURN TICKET I

And then how my LIFE went on to LOVE,I'm more than a friend

And now with all my endeavors today I reached for that distant dream of mine, the hope I was weaving for past 7 years, as my friend said return is but inevitable…

Sept 13’2010, 02:00 hrs, I am writing this post as a cynical attempt to apologize for, I abetted the swindle, I played against my very own friend…

01:00 hrs, I came back to my room, the place where I always felt relief and a sense of security, for me it was my world of competence and power, but today I have been estranged from my place, the whole world spurned me, I was flagitiously accused of being a virtual pragmatic…

00:00 hrs, I came back home, with a scoffing smile and answers to so many questions, how KHURJA was???

Sept 12’2010, 11:00 hrs, I took the bus to KHURJA, and it was to take almost 4 hrs to reach, I was happy coz I was to fulfill the PROMISE of my life…
The weather was really nice and it was raining as the bus moved out of Delhi, I could feel the anxiety and the excitement and I was wondering what the reason was for this desperate fear which I was feeling, but could find no explanation to it, I was having this sense of dread without any reason…
I was busy finding out reasons which made me stay away from my very own people for 7 long years, and the only thing which I found apt was “I was busy studying”…
It would be a day to remember and cherish for the rest f my life…

19:00 hrs, I took a bus back to Delhi, I was again leaving the LIFE behind, my best days my childhood, any day of it I remembered seemed to be flooded by a brilliant illumination of care, extreme aura of innocence and the purest dreams of a child, where every dream was to do whatever is right, twenty three years ago we made a statement to ourselves that in our life we will do what ever is right thing to do, and I kept this statement unchanged, today I did what I felt was right for me, JUST ME…

16:00 hrs, owing to great Indian Transport, I reached KHURJA in almost 5 hrs, this place was so similar to the one I left behind 7 years from now, nothing much has changed, I reached hastily into my pocket to find a piece of paper on which it was written, “Kishan Ganj Gali No. 5” (lane no. 5), my mum told me the exact address of the place I have to go…
Getting some help with directions from few people around, I was trying to find out my way, and as I sauntered through those gloomy lanes I could still sense that dread and an unexplained desperate fear…

18:30 hrs, I left Sanchi alone, where rest of her life would be spent in a pursuit of what she will lose in next few days of her life, just few more days of her life left, she was to go mad thinking nothing, and this solitude will make her madness worse…
And then I though, for me it was a day to remember that I must forget…

16:30 hrs, I was few steps from my place I could feel my heart pounding at pace I had never experienced, and there I met Gaurav my best buddy in school, and we were so amazed to see each other that we almost forgot we were standing on the road and we just hugged each other, and then I went to his place, his mother was so nice to welcome me, and she told me that I am staying with them for next few days and I said for sure aunty, and Gaurav started telling me whereabouts of all my friends there, and I asked SANCHI, and he silently said she is not fine, getting married later this week and to a guy much older than her age, pertaining to some monetary issues, I said I want to see her right now, take me to her place…

17:45 hrs, Gaurav took me to her place, and her mother was busy attending some guests, so Gaurav took me to a room and told me that he will send SANCHI in a while, I noticed it was a store room, as all other rooms were full of guests, light was ebbing and then came SANCHI, she looked as a dumped soul, without any motions or emotions, pale and thin, her eyes were pink as if she has been crying since the day I left her, I was in an extremely painful delight to see her in this situation, she said Namit finally you came back what took you so long, you are back to help me? To take me along to world where I can live?
I at my most mendacious human emotions used the objects, objects like expectation and responsibilities over me, time I need to think before doing any such thing, and all such meek objects created by men to be used by men…
But it was all true, the truth which left me drenched to the deepest of my soul coz it was just a mocking truth which stated nothing more but a lie…
She touched my face with her tender hands and said I know Namit, its not easy, and thanks for coming…

and she left me alone stranded,
she expected a reply, but I could not answer,
I looked at her, my meaningful eyes gazed at her,
but she simply walked away, she could not read my poker face,
she has got to love nobody…

I know she will love to hate me for everything, everything I could have done, everything I dint do…


Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Wordless Wednesday...

These are the most beautiful curves found on this planet...clicked in a departmental store in GOA, i just love that place...

Even trees there are drunk, how can humans be spared of this spirit, beautiful spirit, absolute spirit...

Friday, September 3, 2010

RETURN TICKET I...


RETURN TICKET

KHURJA, a small town of UTTAR PRADESH, the place where I spent most of my childhood…

One of the memories I have of that place is of my childhood friend SANCHI…

Her bold eyes, her fluffy cheeks, her saccharine smile (it was the sweetest smile)...

She was my classmate and I used to call her motu, which she hated, and when ever I did so she used to complain either to mum (her mum or mine) or to school teacher…

We were best friends and used to share everything, and this everything included our lunch, books, or pencils, notebooks and chocolates at times…

We had been friends for almost 6 years, and we as kids knew anything and everything

About each other, we used to fight a lot and after every fight there was a RETURN, I used to return her stuff and she to used return mine, and then it took few hours, few days and sometimes few weeks before the next RETURN came, its when everything became normal and I gave back her the stuff I took from her and she returned the stuff to me…

I was in 8th standard, when I felt that I was in love with her ( I don’t remember the name of movie which made me feel so, but it was just an after effect of some romantic bollywood movie)…

RETURN to me now was something new, RETURN to me was the equal love as I did, RETURN to me was when she turned back to look at me…

There were sparks in all direction until 19th oct’ ****(I don’t remember the year, but it was the year when I was in 9th standard, and it was my cousin Amit’s b’day), as the other kids of locality she was also there to attend Amit’s birthday celebrations and she was looking beautiful, when I looked at her, my heart loved the view and that day I asked her to marry me, and she refused to talk to me anymore as any self respecting 14 year girl would, at that time I thought might be she was not ready for the commitment…(I know that was dumb, but I was just 14 and all my knowledge to love was confined to stupid romantic bollywood movies)…

After few weeks things RETURNed back to normal and we were talking again with a promise that I wont do anything like that ever…

After few months we left the town and moved to Delhi, I was to go to a new school for my 10th standard and the life for me changed…

I left Khurja with a promise to RETURN, someday sometime in my life…

Now its been more then 7 years since we left Khurja and I have never been there since then, never had any contact with Sanchi and all my friends there…

At times I miss my school, I miss my play ground, I miss the shops and roads there, I miss her, I miss her smile, I miss playing with her, I miss fighting with her, and I have been so busy in my life that I miss missing her the most…

Now I am done with my college and have few months before I start working, so I plan to RETURN, return to the place I feel is native to me (though I was not born there)…

Soon I am going to get a ticket to Khurja, my RETURN TICKET, to RETURN to the place where I left all my childhood memories, to RETURN to my friends, to RETURN to Sanchi…



You might also be interested in how my life went on two love,
I'm more than a friend
and now my life seem such a romantic disappointment,

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I believe in GOD...almost...

Today, September 01’ 2010
I got up at 11, and after taking a shower I said “mum khana de do” (mum my breakfast), and my mum replied “ aj khana nahi milega” (you wont get any food today)…
I thought she must be furious coz I got up late so I said “acha kal time par uth jauga ab khana do” (I will get up on time tomorrow now give me some food), and mum replied “aj sab ka FAST hai so no food)...

Floored, I said “KYOO??”
JANAMASHTMI…she replied… (It’s a Hindu festival celebrated as birth anniversary of KRISHNA JI and I was to fast)
After few hours I asked mum, “mum birthdays par to we get nice treats and all the celebrations so what’s the point in FASTING today??
SHUTUP, she replied… (But seriously my point was valid)
Well day passed on smooth as I dint retaliate much as I got some fruits to eat…
In the evening my mum told me that we have to go to the temple, and as usual I was a bit reluctant, and then dad pronounced that we all are going to temple as they have invited us and we have got VIP passes…
VIP passes to a temple???
Yeah even I was shocked but we had these …..

ISKON TEMPLE VIP pass

Now I earnestly wanted to check this VIP thing out, so at around 8pm we left for the temple, and as I anticipated there was a separate entry for VIPs (and a long, very long queue for general entry)...
To be true I am not religious, even if I am that’s not by choice, and I never understood what the point in praying is, like if you believe in GOD that’s all you can do, how will praying help?
So as we entered all the arrangements were all different for us, from seating arrangement to the place for prayer, there I saw my little cousin NISHA, I asked her, “hey kiddo what are you doing here”??
And she replied, “Main to yaha roj aati hu” (I visit this place everyday)
So enticed I asked, “kyooo??”
And she replied, “Mum says if I will pray god will save me from ghosts and evil spirits and I will get good marks in exams and god will always help me”
GOOD, I said…
What is this we are doing, we say that we need to build a society upon truth, upon trust and upon transparent equality, but our parents tell us that god will save us from evils, in the first place we are making them believe in EVIL something whose very existence is contradictory to that of GOD, why kids are told that there exists ghosts!!!
And then how can exam results in anyway be associated to praying or going to temple without missing a day!!!
I totally believe in GOD and I trust that GOD is fair, so I know I wont ever get that, what I don’t deserve, no matter how much I pray for it…
As its said Trust in god, but don’t forget to lock your car…

So for me I believe in GOD and trust myself…
And after we were done with all the rituals and prayers, we moved for dinner, ant I was amazed to see what a feast it was, none less then one in a wedding ceremony (and again it was specially arranged for VIPs), and it was labeled as “vrat me khane yogya” (appropriate to eat even if you are fasting)…
I ate a lot and now I was happy that we came, and most of that we came with a VIP pass…
While returning I was thinking that why I went to temple, why I was there to pray and why I did something I actually don’t believe in…

And all I could find to justify it was:

My parents want me to do all this and be involved into it, so I can do this much for them.

To debate on something, to know the pros and cons of something you need to be a part of it…

You get very nice stuff to eat and drink at these places and it comes at no cost…

And you get to see pretty girls, a lot of pretty girls ( I guess most of the girls are religious enough to come to temple)…

And in case if by any chance I am not correct and you get some of the blessings bestowed upon you while you pray so I might also get those…