RETURN TICKET II...

My life is what seems an extra ordinary stroke of ROMANTIC DISSAPOINTMENT…

Before reading this post you might like to consider reading how it all started,

My first hand experience to LOVE, RETURN TICKET I

And then how my LIFE went on to LOVE,I'm more than a friend

And now with all my endeavors today I reached for that distant dream of mine, the hope I was weaving for past 7 years, as my friend said return is but inevitable…

Sept 13’2010, 02:00 hrs, I am writing this post as a cynical attempt to apologize for, I abetted the swindle, I played against my very own friend…

01:00 hrs, I came back to my room, the place where I always felt relief and a sense of security, for me it was my world of competence and power, but today I have been estranged from my place, the whole world spurned me, I was flagitiously accused of being a virtual pragmatic…

00:00 hrs, I came back home, with a scoffing smile and answers to so many questions, how KHURJA was???

Sept 12’2010, 11:00 hrs, I took the bus to KHURJA, and it was to take almost 4 hrs to reach, I was happy coz I was to fulfill the PROMISE of my life…
The weather was really nice and it was raining as the bus moved out of Delhi, I could feel the anxiety and the excitement and I was wondering what the reason was for this desperate fear which I was feeling, but could find no explanation to it, I was having this sense of dread without any reason…
I was busy finding out reasons which made me stay away from my very own people for 7 long years, and the only thing which I found apt was “I was busy studying”…
It would be a day to remember and cherish for the rest f my life…

19:00 hrs, I took a bus back to Delhi, I was again leaving the LIFE behind, my best days my childhood, any day of it I remembered seemed to be flooded by a brilliant illumination of care, extreme aura of innocence and the purest dreams of a child, where every dream was to do whatever is right, twenty three years ago we made a statement to ourselves that in our life we will do what ever is right thing to do, and I kept this statement unchanged, today I did what I felt was right for me, JUST ME…

16:00 hrs, owing to great Indian Transport, I reached KHURJA in almost 5 hrs, this place was so similar to the one I left behind 7 years from now, nothing much has changed, I reached hastily into my pocket to find a piece of paper on which it was written, “Kishan Ganj Gali No. 5” (lane no. 5), my mum told me the exact address of the place I have to go…
Getting some help with directions from few people around, I was trying to find out my way, and as I sauntered through those gloomy lanes I could still sense that dread and an unexplained desperate fear…

18:30 hrs, I left Sanchi alone, where rest of her life would be spent in a pursuit of what she will lose in next few days of her life, just few more days of her life left, she was to go mad thinking nothing, and this solitude will make her madness worse…
And then I though, for me it was a day to remember that I must forget…

16:30 hrs, I was few steps from my place I could feel my heart pounding at pace I had never experienced, and there I met Gaurav my best buddy in school, and we were so amazed to see each other that we almost forgot we were standing on the road and we just hugged each other, and then I went to his place, his mother was so nice to welcome me, and she told me that I am staying with them for next few days and I said for sure aunty, and Gaurav started telling me whereabouts of all my friends there, and I asked SANCHI, and he silently said she is not fine, getting married later this week and to a guy much older than her age, pertaining to some monetary issues, I said I want to see her right now, take me to her place…

17:45 hrs, Gaurav took me to her place, and her mother was busy attending some guests, so Gaurav took me to a room and told me that he will send SANCHI in a while, I noticed it was a store room, as all other rooms were full of guests, light was ebbing and then came SANCHI, she looked as a dumped soul, without any motions or emotions, pale and thin, her eyes were pink as if she has been crying since the day I left her, I was in an extremely painful delight to see her in this situation, she said Namit finally you came back what took you so long, you are back to help me? To take me along to world where I can live?
I at my most mendacious human emotions used the objects, objects like expectation and responsibilities over me, time I need to think before doing any such thing, and all such meek objects created by men to be used by men…
But it was all true, the truth which left me drenched to the deepest of my soul coz it was just a mocking truth which stated nothing more but a lie…
She touched my face with her tender hands and said I know Namit, its not easy, and thanks for coming…

and she left me alone stranded,
she expected a reply, but I could not answer,
I looked at her, my meaningful eyes gazed at her,
but she simply walked away, she could not read my poker face,
she has got to love nobody…

I know she will love to hate me for everything, everything I could have done, everything I dint do…