Monday, February 22, 2010

Wen I was a BOY..
I have been in a little bit of a rut the last few days. For whatever reason, I have not been able to see myself. I have found myself in some serious need of validation. M I getting mature???? Really???
Well this is the question bothering me now a day’s albeit this botheration is some how pleasant one.
I will turn 19 in a week time, and a surge of emotions to follow.
In last one month I hav seen a lot of emotional plunge in my life and all these incidences forced me to think this way, m I still a boy?
A fun loving boy, who always want to see himself smiling 24*7 .Have seen 18 springs of his life and most of them pleasant,.

When I was a kid I used to ask my mum that when I will get mature, when you will allow me to do the things at my own? And she used to reply that until you don’t get moustaches and beard you will be with me, indirectly till then you are a small kid. But gone are those days.
Anyways by mum’s definition m already a matured guy. But really??????????? M I..???
I don’t know what actually maturity is? But yeah really if I have to give my definition to it then I will say, “I m really confused wid it”.

At one point in my young {that just makes me sound old} life, I thought that I was in love. I had dis feeling for a gal dat made my stomach have butterflies and I thought dat was what love was and how it felt. Then, life happened, hurt happened and it was over. But I got over it. Quickly enough!! I still thought that it had been love.
And now “I expect to be in a relationship with a significant other who is as mature as I am and has the same approach to life as I hav. It will not be a relationship just for the sake of havin someone else."
I can figure all dis out. M I getting matured. “I m really confused wid it”.

I am concerned, sympathetic, empathetic and resourceful, have a fair amount of common sense and find ways to make it when the odds are against me. I can negotiate, bargain and find a way when no way is clear.
But I can negotiate on dis no longer. M I getting matured. “I m really confused wid it”.

I always wanted to be good at all things but never wanted to study or work hard for it. I want to do things but I don’t know why. Again I ask myself wat is dat wat I want to do. When these small desires in me want to turn around and look for something big and that it becomes one of the milestones of my life. Thinking out in other perspective it is very human to want different things at different times. But how do it relate to my getin mature.
So the question is d same. M I getting matured. “I m really confused wid it”.

Now I feel am I just acting matured or I am matured. Feeling mature is somhow different den being mature. But I am sure its something more den just a feeling.
I am far more mature than I give myself credit for. No acting is necessary when it is already a natural part of who I am.
I am a man...I am a man…


  1. dis is d one i wrote long back...just started blogin so posted it...

  2. its awesome....wish u success for each nd everything..Ammen[:)]

  3. very nice namit....i really appreciate ur thoughts.. but the part that i like most is that you trying to say that true Indian is the person who always try to do something better for India.... this is not necessary that every one should hav a gun and facing to border.. ..

    god bless u namit....
    chak ditta yaar...

  4. I have read this one long back if u remember and love ur writing since i told u then its still same-"u just write WOW..and i can read ur any article...and havent red anything this good since iunno maybe never"..nwz luck..keep informing bout ur new posts-astha

  5. @astha: thanx fr d generous comment.. :) keep visiting...


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